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- doing my nails (yeah, seriously) - straightening my hair (even if it's already straight from doing it that morning - strangely therapeutic) - music. and more music. and then some more music. - writing long lists of things to do. doing the thing that is least important and involves the least brain activity. crossing it off list. writing a new list. and repeat. - staring at pictures of gorgeous, gorgeous men. - imagining subtextual slashy activity in random RL instances and getting a sad little thrill of joy (totally het movies, books, cartoons, and strangers on the street NOT exempt).
all of the above, of course, as an aside from my greatest of loves of fic and BL manga.
Supernatural so owns me, now. Dean/Sam and padackles love and pretty fic, ahh.
KYO also earns much love for making me not hate French - a truly spectacular feat., but worth it because they are awesomeness: -
Nos visages entiers se tournent vers l'exile Et nos bras qui s'étirent jusqu'à frôler les cimes On rêve sans trêve et en laissant couler Dans nos veines le sang libre de nomades oubliés Tu la sens la tempête qui dans nos têtes s'achève Les paupières du cyclone qui lentement se ferment On se rappelle juste pour oublier S'aimer un peu en fin d'année KYO - Sad Day
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1 thinking? - hit me here
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Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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It makes me laugh... well, not laugh, but amused, when I gaze over my last (and only) two entries. All those things I wanted to accomplish seem to have made zero progress... yes, zero. And while I wish I could blame school 100% on my lack of writing, while it has played a huge role in making life chaotic and sometimes borderline unbearable, I think the underlying issue is my lack of motivation. The first real struggle is opening up the word doc and trying to grapple with the idea of putting words into it. o_O I wish it wasn't so hard, because I do love writing, I swear I do. But somehow... that very first act is so. Very. Difficult.
There's so many things I wanted to accomplish this year, and very little of them have come to fruition. Complete Heart. Start a new fic. Try to tackle writing a HP HPDM fic, epic or even oneshot. Start an original fic. Practice, practice, practice. And beyond writing - read more. Study harder. Be more organised, more prolific, more motivated. Learn to use HTML, learn to use Adobe, learn to read the hoards of Japanese BL manga I have stored neatly (?) in my closet...
With the year gone past, I can honestly say that maybe it's been 100% successful in doing only one thing: teaching me that my plan to completion ratio is around about 50:1. And that might be me being a tad optimistic. So - for the year to come (though I've barely gotten through X'mas and the NY is another hurdle to deal with), as I make new resolutions and hope for more things...
Maybe this year will have taught me to take my To Do list with a grain of salt...
and maybe, maybe? To stop being so hard on myself. (If Optimistic!me speaks. Pessimistic!me: stop expecting so much... aka. the impossible.)
Reading... Harry/Draco. I can never get enough of them. One of these days I shall re-read the entire series and do my utmost best to pen a fic that does them justice, rather than a stream of incohesive, incoherent drabbles...
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Sunday, February 5th, 2006
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Well, I just posted another chapter of Heart, as well as finishing ch19. Funny how I wrote a whole chapter without really achieving anything. Because achieving stuff would mean having to tackle the plot - which is exhausting just to *think* about. So much easier just to churn stuff out. Hench the lack of plot, in many chapters.
It was weird going through the beta of Heart c12. It's like the writing style changes as I go on, and yet it really wasn't too long ago that I wrote that.. less than a year. I wonder if this means I'm getting better... or worse? Curse the thought!
I'm wondering how to be a more prolific writer while still being able to enjoy myself and read all the fic I want. I'm thinking that's not going to be possible... especially with school and RL. Nevertheless I am determined to finish Heart sometime this year. I'm placing it at ending around 25 chapters, though it might actually end up being around 30 at the rate I'm going, trying not to have to deal with the plot yet. (Who knew you could procrastinate while still writing chapters, huh?)
I think I know which fic I'm going to make my Next Big Epic. For a long time I figured I'd just work on one of the many original fic starters I have around, but then just the day before last I started a Something after reading the start of A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey, and I'm rather enthused at the thought of being able to play around with plotlines and character backgrounds, and such. Though I didn't mean it to be, I found myself using GW characters... So maybe this'll be my effort after Heart - a rehabcentre!GW fic. I know I've got a whole bunch of GW ideas for fics lying around somewhere, from way back when.. I should really dig them out, maybe have a stab at a oneshot GW or something along those lines...
I've also decided that no more big long breaks in between writing, and I won't be posting more than 2-3 chapters ahead of the ones I write. It seems to be working with Heart, but there's honestly more of a feeling of connection posting as I write. Though it's always nice to have those extra couple chapters to fall back on in periods of writing drought... As for the big long breaks - it's just too much of a struggle at the end of them. It's terrible forgetting what I've written before, or previous occurances in whatever fic universe I've written... So yes, I resolve to write at least once a week, no matter what! Even if it's only a few lines... ><
I guess this lj will serve and my personal reminder list of what I Must and Must Not do... until i figure out some better use.
Reading now: Weiss Kreuz fanfic - Ken/Omi now, Youji/Aya just yesterday. Forgotten how much I love these bishies.. and it's all coming back to me.
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1 thinking? - hit me here
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Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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Well...
This is post number one, and part of my (new, belated) New Year's resolution that I will both a) write more, and b) create and maintain (aka post regularly) on an lj. I had a brief fling with one years ago, but now I am determined that this will stick. So, um, good luck to me.
Of course, this means that I'll be making an added effort to figure out the bits and bobs of how to do the misc things here at lj, like creating one of those link cut things, but. Yes. That's later. When I'm not busy reading fic. (God knows when that'll be. Haven't not been busy reading fic for YEARS now.)
So, yes. I've been writing for a very long time now, and am in the midst of my Great Epic(ish) fic, Heart of Gold, on ff.net. (http://www.fanfiction.net/~seaa) Of course, haven't worked on it for close to two months now, what with having gone on holiday and whatnot, but it's also another NY's resolution of mine - to finish it before 2006 is out. Guilt finally overcame me yesterday, and I attempted to start writing once more - I always forget how hard it is to start writing after a long period of... well, not writing, and it was quite the struggle. What with my (incoherent) notes to self and re-reading the last few chapters to trigger something, then staring at the keys wishing and waiting for the muses to awaken... Was not easy. So I'm guessing it'll take me some time to get the next chapter done. But I shall persevere!
As this fic goes way, wa~y back in years, it's both changed and grown and, especially as I've posted more and more chapters on ff.net, come to mean a whole lot (more) to me. So, when just moments ago I realised that it'd been rec'd on gwyaoi.org, I was unable to stop grinning. What an incredible honour. I've loved that site and visited it for so long now, and I never would have dreamed I'd ever see my name, and my fic, on it. So thank you, JinLucifer, for rec-ing me. I should have realised that that was the reason for the sudden increase in reviews. (insert happy unending grin here) I can only hope that the rest of the fic will not fail any readers. (crossing fingers)
Also, I've been trying to keep my writing of chapters ahead of my posting, just so the breaks in between posts are not ridiculously long. (They're rather bad as it is.) I plan to eventually post snippets and such to do with any of my possible fics, too. That is, if I ever get around to it.
I'm done rambling now, at least I hope so. If anyone finds me here, feel free to comment, friend, or any of the Other Things that can be done. Further enlightening me about the wonders of lj will also be appreciated.
Other posts will not be this long. I promise. (read: I really, really hope not.)
Currently Reading: QaF fanfic in copious amounts. Specifically, Ben/Michael... (which is not helping me get back into writing 1x2, but, well.. hey!
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